Associated Press reporter Jennifer Loven either got a ride from Marty McFly or got her own flux capacitor up to 88 mph to file this story on President Bush’s speech, about three hours before it is scheduled to start. (Hat tip: Michelle Malkin).

Check out the third paragraph for a chuckle:

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — President Bush on Tuesday appealed for the nation’s patience for “difficult and dangerous” work ahead in Iraq, hoping a backdrop of U.S. troops and a reminder of Iraq’s revived sovereignty would help him reclaim control of an issue that has eroded his popularity.

In an evening address at an Army base that has 9,300 troops in Iraq, Bush was acknowledging the toll of the 27-month-old war. At the same time, he aimed to persuade skeptical Americans that his strategy for victory needed only time — not any changes — to be successful.

“Like most Americans, I see the images of violence and bloodshed. Every picture is horrifying and the suffering is real,” Bush said, according to excerpts released ahead of time by the White House [blogger’s emphasis]. “It is worth it.”

While Loven makes it look like she attended, she recycles excerpts released in advance. Interesting.

The late Douglas Adams touched on the mind-scrambling aspects of time travel’s effect on the mother tongue in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. A bodyguard tells a time-hopping performer as he prepares to go to a concert more than 500,000 years ago, “Ah, come on, it’s going to have been great.”

Loven’s prose handles the oddities of time travel with the greatest of ease. But methinks Loven tipped back one too many Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters.

If you’re curious about Loven and her background, and her tendency to craft DNC press releases into “news,” check out these old Powerline entries.

UPDATE: For the record, many reporters, myself included, “pre-write” portions of stories by stating backgrounds and other obviousness to save time, and we fill in the blanks later or re-write if something radically different happened. But the whole damned thing? No. Never.

With this crazy past-tense reporting of the future, one must wonder if Loven is even at Fort Bragg.